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Summarized by Kent Larsen
Matis Remembered In Newsweek
Newsweek 8May00 N1
By Mark Miller
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The upcoming issue of Newsweek recounts the
tragic story of LDS Church member Stuart Matis, who struggled with
homosexual feelings until his suicide February 25th on the steps of
his LDS stake center in California. His suicide came just two weeks
before the vote on California's Proposition 22. Matis had, by all
accounts, remained celibate, refusing to yield to his homosexual
urges.
Newsweek's recounting of his story is both poignant and tragic. It
covers his childhood struggles, recounting Matis' first realization
of his orientation at age seven. A childhood friend, Jennifer
Mouritsen, told Newsweek, "He would punish himself if he had a
[homosexual] thought. He wouldn't allow himself to go to a friend's
birthday party or [wouldn't] watch his favorite TV program."
After serving an LDS mission, according to Newsweek, Matis continued
his struggle. He confided in a mission companion, Clay Whitmer, also
gay, following their return. Matis also confided with his bishop,
Russell Hancock, who was very supportive, going so far as to tell
him, after learning Matis had considered suicide, "if this is a
choice between life and the church, he should choose his life."
In the past year, the intensity of Matis' conflicted feelings
increased, as the LDS Church's campaign against Proposition 22 gained
national attention. He told his family, who were also supportive, but
unable to help him resolve his conflicted feelings. Desperate, Matis
lashed out at the Church, writing in a letter to a cousin, "Straight
members have absolutely no idea what it is like to grow up gay in
this church. It is a life of constant torment, self-hatred and
internalized homophobia."
Finally, Matis wrote a suicide note to his family, and committed
suicide. A few weeks later, his friend Clay Whitmer, suffering from
similar conflicts, also committed suicide.
Newsweek concludes the tragic story by noting, "The people who
dressed him for burial were struck by the sight of his knees, deeply
callused from praying for an answer that never came."
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